1am musings of single life – can you relate?

I’ve grown up with some amazing relationships around me; I also have wonderful friends settling down with partners who are inspiring the type of relationship I’m looking for.

Yesterday I had a realisation at 1am, trying to go to sleep after seeing Taylor Swift in concert (amazing show!). As much as I’m looking for a soul mate, partner in crime and eventual husband I need to be really clear about nurturing and caring for my relationship with myself.

That mind/body/soul connection that we each have is like a marriage of its own. While our soul might continue on, the relationship with our minds seems to be a ‘til death do you part kind of deal.

I’m not planning on going all out having a ceremony to recognise this marriage. It’s more been an internal light bulb moment that I thought might be worth sharing. I’ve realised that taking inspired actions that reflect the love that I’m looking for should start with me.

As ready as I feel to meet my soul mate there are definitely some limiting beliefs going on an unconscious/subconscious level to do with me not feeling good enough. Maybe you will relate?

I’ve even told myself I don’t have the skills to write and be a blogger and that I need a degree to be good enough! So I’m taking action in the vibe of ‘start before you are ready’. It’s been three years since I created this website and now is the time to bring it to life!

To help build a better relationship with my mind/body/soul and tackle some of those doubts I’m getting into the practice of checking in. Getting clear on what I enjoy and the life I want to create (separate from having a partner to share it with).

Little by little I’m starting to do things that I’ve wanted to do instead of waiting for a partner to do them with! I went on an amazing trip earlier this year to Mexico and Cuba, I loved putting myself out of my comfort zone and exploring such beautiful countries and learning more about their cultures. Choosing to go on tours I also made some great friends along the way. I’ve bought a section and am in the process of designing and building a house – exciting times ahead!

I’ve realised that I have to continue living my life.

Back in Year 10 at high school we were set a task of looking forward to what our aims were for our future. I planned it out from the subjects I would study at school, then continuing on to getting a degree, travelling and working overseas before moving home to settle down. At 14 years old I had planned out my life up until 29. My plan for the future after that was “have a family and a job, and I will enjoy life”. I rediscovered this school book a couple of years ago not long after moving home and it almost perfectly matched my life!

One of the things missing in my life seemed to be having someone to settle down with but I was ok with that I had in my mind having kids about 32 (when my parts first had me). Now I’m already 32, still single and working on releasing time lines, especially when it involves some one else. I even question having kids. More important to me is that best friend relationship that I’m looking for in my husband and that hasn’t fallen into place just yet.

Sometimes I feel a bit lost without much of a plan for my life. I recently had a great chat with an old workmate who confessed that she doesn’t have a plan. Hearing that I felt a bit of relief. Instead of making big plans for how the next twenty years of my life will look I think it’s time to bring it back in. Getting clear on what I want and need right now rather than getting wrapped up inn who I think I should be or others thoughts on who I should be.

It’s about creating some quiet space to go within and ask questions like:

  • What do I want to do?
  • What lights me up?

Quiet answers can come through and journaling is a great way to create space and see how the pen flows across the page as the ideas come.

You might find that what comes through is something that has been coming up for awhile. Do yourself a favour and listen, then create a SMART goal to help you take a step in the right direction.

  • Specific (simple, sensible, significant)
  • Measurable (meaningful, motivating)
  • Achievable (attainable)
  • Relevant (reasonable and realistic)
  • Time bound (time-based)

If you can, talk with a friend about it and make yourself accountable. Don’t put too much pressure on knowing what the next step will be.

That’s how I got here, writing this blog post after going to a Dreamshop and announcing to a room full of over 100 people that I was going write and share and blog post by the end of the weekend.

It’s amazing what happens when you set your mind to it, and follow it up with action!

Next, I’ll be writing another blog post and am looking to book in a soul session with my coach. Let me know if you have any questions or topics you’d like me to cover.

Sarah
Xx

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