Roller coaster of emotions

Life feels like a roller coaster with its ups and downs. Right now it seems even more concentrated.

I’m leaning into feeling the feelings. 

I know there are times when I’ve glossed things over. Things aren’t “that bad” or “fine” when really I’m avoiding what’s going on.

This came through living in survival mode. My parents both passed away separately (within 18 months of each other) in my early twenties. Initially things started out taking life hour by hour, day by day.

Maybe you’ve had times in your life you’ve experienced this too? You might have even lost memories of the time. It seems to be a bit of a blur for me.

I am SO grateful for the love and support of my sister, family and friends who got me through those challenging times.

Often I choose to go within, crying and leaning into the raw emotion. “It’s not fair” would often come up as a thought. And it still can do.

The depth of my pain also reflects the depth of my love for them. I could not have wished for better parents.

While my pain and grief will also sit within me I understand that they come through in Waves. They will go again. It’s learning to lean in and ride the way so I’m not caught up pushing my feelings down and internally trying to drown them out.

Little by little as time passes by I embrace the life I am leading and focus on the dreams I want to bring to life.

When I’m feeling more calm there is an inner knowing that there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. 

As we are in lockdown with so much time on our hands I reflect more how time feels like a perception. We can fit so much in if we choose.

I look back and have more acceptance. 

I am glad for my spirituality.  I know that the soul and energy of my parents continues on.

If you know you’re probably aware I have a positive outlook on life. This doesn’t mean I don’t have my dark days and moments.

To me it means I have hope. 

If you’re struggling for whatever reason I can recommend leaning in to those feelings to help you process them.

If you find processing by yourself hard please reach out.

There are so many things out there to try, like:

  • journaling
  • speaking to a professional
  • breath work
  • reaching out to a friend
  • putting on a sad movie to draw out the tears

(Please drop in the comments any you’d like to add)

When you reach out you lead by example and encourage others to ask for help too.

In these times of transition let’s choose kindness, honesty, respect and compassion as values to embody and bring us together as a community.

If you’re not in survival mode (feeling calm or riding high a wave of happiness) I challenge you to please check in on those around you who may not be doing so well. 

If you’re looking to expand your community check out the Women’s Circles that I hold. I’m loving making new friends and connecting with like-minded women.

Sarah
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